The Past Revisited
by Grissom1
Summary: Pure GSR as always.  Grissom discovers the reason for Sara's nightmares as the team works 3 rapemurder cases committed by the same person.  He discovers a similar case and Sara's name is in it.


While I do not own CSI; I lavish in the characters as if they are my own. Forgive me! No copywright infringement intended.

The Past Revisited

Catherine came into Grissom's office and shut the door. "Grissom, you're going to have to do something with Sara." She plopped down in the chair and stared at him.

"What has Sara done now?" Grissom raised his eyebrow and leaned back in his chair.

"She is obsessed with this case and she is driving everyone nuts. You know how she gets on these types of cases."

Grissom closed his eyes and seemed to meditate for a moment. He opened his eyes and Catherine continued her assault of Sara.

"Grissom, she is rechecking everyone's work, backtracking and reviewing old cases. She had Greg run a test three times. Can you not reassign her to another case?"

"Catherine, Ecklie wants everyone working on this case. We have a serial rapist who likes to torture and then murder his victims."

"Then talk with her" demanded Catherine and before Grissom could respond she was up and gone.

Grissom had seen the change in Sara and he had intended to talk with her. These types of cases always seem to affect Sara more. He wasn't sure why and he couldn't bring himself to ask her. He knew she would tell him in her own time. Sara was like that. However, this was a high profile case and he did need to talk with her about some of the issues Catherine had mentioned. He decided he would remove Sara if she could not give him reason to believe that this was just another case and that it wasn't personal.

Grissom met the others in the conference room for a briefing. He noticed that Sara appeared very tired. _She doesn't sleep enough. Why is this case so different to Sara? Why doesn't she confide in me? _

The last thought struck a bitter cord with Grissom. Sara had opened up to him about her mother. She had become upset when he didn't offer her any glimpse into his past. He rarely let anyone in. He didn't want anyone to get too close. That was who he was or was it?

Grissom listened while each CSI gave him an update on the rape/murder cases. They did not have any evidence that linked anyone to the cases. Frustration was at an all time high and the media was frenzied.

"I'm going to return to the last murder location and recheck the area. I am therefore going to need someone to assist me. Sara, you're coming with me tomorrow. Because of this, I will need you to take off early tonight since you have already maxed out in overtime. "

Catherine grinned and looked at the others briefly. There seemed to be a sigh of relief from the others. Sara was not pleased.

"Grissom, the murder location is over a three hour drive and then a 4 mile hike on foot. The county police combed the entire area before and after we were called in. I don't see why we need to…"

"Sara, be sure to wear warm clothing and walking boots. I will see all of you tomorrow." Grissom got up before Sara could resume talking. It was evident she was mad. The others quickly left the room. Catherine mouthed a "thank you" to Grissom.

Grissom and Sara had been on the road for over two hours and few words had been spoken. Grissom had Sara to do a recap on each of the murders. She recalled each detail by memory without looking at her notes. She continued to look out the window as she spoke. No emotion was heard her in voice. Sara was in work mode. Grissom knew that she was still upset from being pulled from the lab but he felt she needed to get away for awhile. The staff needed Sara to get away for awhile. He had planned on going out to the scene by himself but after Catherine's office visit he decided to bring Sara along. Sara seemed to be miles away in thought.

"Sara, why is this case different than the others?"

No reply. Grissom looked at Sara and repeated the question.

"I've e already given you the common factors that have been discovered in each of the cases. Would you like to see my notes?" There was sarcasm in her answer but he ignored it.

"No Sara. I want to know what makes these rape/murder cases so different that you are obsessed with them?"

Sara started to reject his implications but her head hurt. _I am not going to argue with you Grissom. I am not going to let you force me into some psycho babble that I don't even know myself. _

It was then that Grissom stopped the Denali and he looked over at Sara. She jumped out of the vehicle and began walking. Grissom sighed and followed. _3 hours of silence in the car and only 4 miles to go. Catherine owes me for this._

They walked the first two miles in silence. Grissom finally broke the silence.

"Take a look at this bug." Grissom had stopped and squatted down to stare at a bug crawling on the ground. Sara stopped and stood there for a moment. Sara was hot and tired. She had not slept much the night before and she had tried several times to get an update from the others on the case but everyone seemed to be tied up with the case and only referred her back to Grissom. _How stupid do they think I am? This is a wild goose chase to get me out of the lab. So I stepped on some toes this week. Do I deserve to be stuck in the desert with Grissom who has now stopped for the third time to look at a bug? If there is one more bug before we get there, I'm going to…"_

Sara had had enough. Before she recalculated her actions, she walked over and squished the bug with her shoe. Grissom looked up at her. She was fuming. He stood up and began walking again. By the third mile, Sara had begun to pant. This was silly. Sara was in perfect condition and ran every day but today, she was tired and couldn't seem to catch her breath. She had coughed occasionally throughout the trip but associated it with allergies. _I'm allergic to B.S and Grissom is full of it today. One more mile to go._

"Sara, you seem to be breathing hard today. Are you okay?"

_No, I'm not okay. I have just spent the last couple of hours hiking through the desert with a jack a… Okay, now I know I'm mad. I should be glad to be spending this time alone with Grissom but not now. _

The thought seemed to bother Sara because she had often relished at the idea of working with Grissom. She was always fascinated with his intellect and she couldn't help but wonder if he would ever let her in. She had loved him from a distance for so long. She glanced at him and suddenly felt embarrassed at her behavior on the trip.

"Grissom, I'm sorry but I haven't been feeling well." It was a true statement but Sara knew that if a case peaked her interest she would work on her deathbed. Grissom and Sara were alike in that manner.

They reached the murder scene which was still marked. They spent the next hour or so sifting through the dirt in and around the area. They each went in different directions away from the crime scene. Sara found part of a key chain with a strand of hair attached to it. She tagged it as evidence. Grissom was pleased when he saw her find.

It was growing late and they needed to hike back. By this time Sara's cough had increased with a vengeance. Every other step was taken with a cough. Sara stopped several times to drink but it didn't seem to help.

"We're almost there, Sara." At first it was a low rumbling then the rain came. Sara and Grissom hastened their pace. Sara began to mumble out loud how she should be back at the lab right now instead of getting soaked. She complained about the road trip, the hike, the hot sun, and now the rain. Sara was more than angry she was livid.

"Sara, it could be worse. We could get caught in a heavy downpour." He looked up at the sky and at that moment the heavy rain began. Grissom looked at Sara. Sara was soaked to the bone. "Bite me Grissom."

_What does that mean? _Grissom was dumbfounded at Sara's statement but he pushed the statement out of his mind and hurried beside Sara who had picked up the pace.

By the time they reached the Denali, both were freezing. The temperature had dropped very quickly. Sara's persistent cough had become more persistent. Grissom reached into the back seat and handed Sara a blanket.

"Always be prepared" said Grissom as he started to drive.

"Too bad you didn't…. cough….check the weather forecast before…. Cough… planning this venture."

It took longer for the couple to make it to the main highway. There were several reports of mudslides and power outages. Sara had fallen asleep although she continued to cough. He realized there would be no way they could make it back to Las Vegas that evening since the weather was getting worse. He stopped at the nearest motel on the way and booked a room. They were not the only persons stranded from the storm. He had accepted the last room that was available. It contained two beds so he pushed aside the appearance of impropriety. Sara was sick and exhausted. She needed to get out of the wet clothes. He had also stopped by the local drugstore and then the diner next to the motel before waking Sara.

"Sara, we have to stay in a motel for the night. There was only one room left but it has two beds so we'll have to make do." Sara looked at Grissom and then began coughing once more. _Why do I have to be sick? I'm finally going to spend the night with Grissom and I'm sick. This sucks._

It was still raining as they entered the room. Sara sat at the edge of the bed. Grissom emptied the contents of his packages onto the nearby table. He handed Sara some sweats he had found at the drug store. "You better get out of those clothes. These will have to do for the night." Sara exited to the bathroom. He heard the running shower and shortly Sara returned in the dry clothes. It was then Grissom's turn.

When he returned, Sara was sitting at the table, trying to figure out the password to his computer. She was not having any luck which was evident from her face.

"Sara, you are off the clock and I suggest you relax and try to rest." She picked out the bed near the bathroom and got into bed, pulling the covers up.

_This is too_ _easy_. Grissom grew concerned. He then handed Sara the cough medicine he had purchased and she took it without complaint. _She's being too reasonable._

Grissom then handed Sara a styrofoam container. "Dinner"

Grissom sat on her bed and they ate together in silence. He wasn't sure if it was the cold rainy weather but the soup he had purchased tasted wonderful. Sara appeared to like it as well.

"So Grissom, did you ever think we would end up in bed like this?"

"Nice to know you're feeling better."

Sara smiled at Grissom. It was actually cozy in the motel room. She could hear the rain outside and she cringed each time the sky lit up by the thunder and lightening. Grissom noticed her behavior.

"I didn't know you were afraid of storms."

"I'm not" declared Sara as another clap of thunder boomed. The lightening lit up the dimly lit room. Grissom smiled this time.

Are you going to tell me why you are so obsessive about this case?"

"It's just a case Grissom. One that we need to close before someone else dies. Isn't that important enough."

"Sara…" he stopped when she began to cough again. He could tell she was tired so he decided not to push it. It was still fairly early in the evening.

Grissom checked his watch. 7:00 pm. Sara had fallen asleep. It was a fitful sleep. She tossed and turned. He knew the cough medicine would probably make her drowsy. She had watched him work on his laptop reviewing some of the details of the case until she had closed her eyes. He tried not to make eye contact with her since he knew that to do so would only cause her to ask about the case.

He was halfway through his notes when Sara began to moan. He listened intently to her muffled cries of pain. She was dreaming. It wasn't a pleasant dream. It was a nightmare. She then began to cry out.

"Please. Let me go. You're hurting me. Stop.." She was now crying. Grissom ran to the bedside and began to wake Sara. She thrashed violently when he grabbed her by the arms. She opened her eyes and continued to beg. Through her sobs she finally recognized Grissom's soothing voice. She collapsed in his arms as he gently rocked her back and forth. When she was quiet again, Grissom released his hold on her and looked into her eyes. Sara was asleep again. He straightened the covers and sat next to the bed for a few minutes. He gently brushed a strand of her hair from her face. He had always wanted to do that. He loved her hair. He loved the smell of Sara. She reminded him of jasmine. He began to withdraw his hand from her when his fingers touched her forehead. He became alarmed. Sara was burning up. _Fever, cough. This is not good. _

He went over to the table and picked up the Tylenol he had purchased as a precaution. He then returned to the bed with a glass of water. It was difficult to rouse Sara again but he was able to get her to take the medicine before drifting back into a deep sleep.

Grissom checked his watch again. 9:00 pm. The power had gone out right after he had made Sara take some additional medicine. The storm had not let up and he had to place a towel by the front door to soak up the water that had seeped through. He walked over to check on Sara. She had begun to stir again. She was beginning to feel the coldness in the room. He took the blankets from his bed and placed them on Sara's. She continued to shiver. He felt her forehead and she was still hot. Grissom knew the power would probably remain off for the remainder of the night. He slipped under the covers beside Sara and took her into his arms. She instinctively nestled up close to him.

Grissom closed his eyes. His mind was racing. He knew that he had done the right thing but his senses were reeling. He had wanted to hold Sara ever since she had broken down that day in her apartment. She had confided in him about the tragedy of her childhood. He had in turn held her hand. He had been afraid that if he had held her, he would kiss her. He didn't think he could stop with just a kiss. He knew he had to be on guard at all times around Sara because he longed to have Sara but he knew it could never be.

During the night, Sara began to dream again. She was there again fighting her demon only this time, he had grasped her wrists and she could not break free. She had always been able to do so before but this time it was different. She continued to struggle and cried out but then she heard Grissom's voice. Sara looked up and Grissom was there beside her, comforting her. She began to cry softly and he held her. She didn't remember how long she cried. She remembered how soothing his voice was to her ear. He gently stroked her hair and kissed each tear on her face. She felt loved. Sara stayed in his embrace. She jumped when a clap of thunder and lightening lit up the room. Grissom held her closer. He softly whispered in her ear "You're safe Sara. I'm here." She felt safe. She hadn't felt safe in a long time.

She started to tell him about her dreams but he hushed her to sleep. She closed her eyes and kissed his cheek. She laid her head on his chest and once again she was overtaken by sleep.

Grissom lay beside Sara and listened to her sleep. There was another time he had found Sara asleep in the break room and he smiled at the memory. He closed his eyes and his mind replayed the events in his head. He couldn't bear the thought that Sara had been brutalized as some time in her past. He knew that there was something there but he didn't want to admit the worst. Her nightmares threw more credence on his suspicions. It ate at his gut. He clutched her closer at the thought of someone forcing himself on Sara. Sara was a fighter and he knew that she would have been brutalized before giving in. He decided he would get Brass to do some digging first thing in the morning. Sara might open up to him but he would never expect her to tell him everything. He did not want to put her through that. He would find out the details and when she was ready to tell him he would be prepared. _How can I be prepared for something like that? How can I live with the knowledge that someone had harmed Sara? _

He had the strong urge to protect her and he again pulled her close to him. He slowly gave in to sleep.

It was around 5:00 am when the power came back on. Grissom heard the heat kick on and he looked over to see Sara still asleep, her legs entwined with his. He hated to leave her but he knew he needed to shower, speak with Brass and then get some breakfast. If Sara was still running a fever, he needed to get her to a doctor. He reached over and felt her forehead. _Fever. Not good. Doctor. _

Sara woke to find the bed empty. She noticed that Grissom was not in the room. She felt confused about the night's events. She was still mulling this over when the door opened and Grissom stepped in with breakfast. He smiled at her as he deposited the food onto the table and walked over to the bed. He checked her forehead again.

"Sara, we've got to get you to a doctor. You ran a fever all night."

Sara started to protests but then the coughing began again. She tried to talk but the coughing was persistent. Grissom got the cough medicine and gave it to her. She took it without complaint. She didn't fuss when he again said she needed to go to the doctor. She knew that she was sick.

"Okay, you have a persistent cough and fever. Any other symptom?"

"My chest hurts."

Grissom frowned. "Not good." Sara made a face and shrunk down into the covers. Grissom tried to get Sara to eat but she had no appetite. His phone postponed the ensuing argument. It was Brass.

"Grissom"

"You were right. Sara's name came up in an unsolved rape case." Grissom's face grew white. He talked with Brass in a hushed tone.

"She was the victim?"

"She and another woman were roommates. The rapist was able to get into the house. He tied them both up. He assaulted Sara first but she didn't fight back so he left her tied up while he raped and tortured the other woman to death. Sara managed to get away and call the police but he was never found." Grissom was trying to take this all in while not alerting Sara but she was good at reading his body posture.

"Grissom, is that about another case? Is there another victim?"

Brass could hear Sara's voice.

"Grissom"

"Yeah."

"Sara took her friend's death really hard. Go easy on her, Gil."

Grissom closed the phone and stood for a moment in silence. Sara again asked him something but he wasn't listening. Brass words kept echoing in his mind. _Sara didn't fight back._

"Grissom"

Grissom was pulled from his thoughts and he returned to sit on the bed beside Sara.

"The roads are still a mess but we have to get you to the hospital."

Sara felt there was something more but she didn't want to push.

"Grissom"

"yeah"

"Did we sleep together last night?"

"Yes."

Sara didn't say anything more. She leaned back on the pillow and looked at Grissom.

"Thank you." He wanted to take her in his arms at that moment and hold her. He wanted to …

"Grissom"

"Yeah"

"Do I snore?"

Grissom chuckled. _This is the Sara I know. This is the Sara I love……_

"No, but you do hog the covers. You also travel all over the bed, talk in your sleep and you have nightmares."

Sara became quiet. She looked at him with tears in her eyes. "I'm also afraid of storms with thunder and lightening."

"Sara…"

She began to cough as she got up and headed for the shower. Grissom watched her as she closed the door. He waited to hear the water turn on and then he called Warrick.

He told Warrick to contact Brass and compare the details of Sara's case to the current one but to keep a lid on it. He knew he could trust Warrick to do this.

Grissom was smug as he listened to the doctor inform Sara that she had pneumonia. He was even more smug when the doctor ordered bed rest for two weeks. Sara was given some medication. She was not thrilled to receive a shot on the rump. Grissom had politely turned his back but she could see his shoulders moving.

"You're enjoying this, aren't you?"

"Not in the least. I 'm just glad that something else is a pain in your behind besides me."

It took several hours for Grissom and Sara to return to Las Vegas. Grissom dropped Sara off at her place and then went straight to the lab. Warrick was waiting on him.

"How was the trip?"

"Sara found another piece of potential evidence. Be sure to run this through the lab ASAP."

"What did you find out?"

Warrick handed Grissom his report. Grissom looked at Warrick. There were similarities in Sara's case to the serial case. Grissom didn't like it. He knew he would have to discuss this with Sara. Warrick knew what Grissom had concluded.

"Does Sara know?" asked Warrick.

"I think she has always known which is why this case has bothered her so much. I need to talk with her before this gets out. Understand?"

Warrick nodded. "No one sees this until you tell me. How is Sara?"

"She is on medical leave for two weeks. She has pneumonia. I'm going to go by there as soon as I'm finished here and see how she is."

"Grissom, if you want me to keep the others away until Sara can sort this out, I can. We all care about her but I know she must be going through hell right now."

Grissom smiled and tapped Warrick on the shoulder. "I'll let you know how she's doing."

Grissom knocked on the door of Sara's apartment. She was surprised to see Grissom standing there. He was surprised to see her wearing the sweats he had purchased on their trip. She could tell he recognized the sweats also.

"What can I say; it brings back memories of the night I got to spend with my boss."

Grissom frowned and tried to return the barb but he became upset when he saw the kitchen. Sara had spread her notes on the case across the table and it was apparent she had been working.

Grissom walked over and began picking up the lab reports and notes. Sara began to protest.

"I'm almost finished."

"No work Sara. If I have to I will place a gag order on the case and you will not receive any further details about the case. You got it?"

Sara was upset. He had crossed the line. She had to work this case. She needed to work this case. She needed to see this case to the end. She walked over and tried to take the paperwork from Grissom but he would not release it.

"Grissom, I'm fine. There's no reason for me to stand around this apartment for two weeks doing nothing. I can't do that."

"Fine. You can go over a few things with me." Sara's demeanor changed. _Good. He still needs me on the case. I can still work. _

He and Sara sat down on the couch. Grissom looked her straight in the face and began.

"Tell me why this case bothers you so much."

"I've already told you that Grissom."

No, Sara. Tell me why you are so driven."

Sara did not reply. Grissom closed his eyes and tried another approach.

"Tell me about the similarities of the type of rope, the entry and the exit from the apartments, the marks on the victims, the description of the assailant Tell me about Karen…"

It was as if the wind had been knocked out of Sara. She started to get up but Grissom grabbed her hand and held it. She tried to pull away but he wouldn't let her.

"You know. Don't you?"

"Yes. Sara I need you to talk with me about this. I don't want you to have to be questioned by the others."

"They know? shouted Sara as she broke free this time and began pacing.

"Warrick is the only person besides Brass and me. I wanted to talk with you first before Warrick gives the others the report."

"What report?" Sara was now crying. She hid her back to Grissom but he knew.

"I suspected there was something that happened in your past Sara so I had Brass to check into it. I then had Warrick to review your old case file and compare it to the serial case."

"So that is why you dragged me out into the desert to…"

"No. Sara, you were obsessed with the case and the others needed a breather from you so I brought you along. I didn't realize the case was connected to you until I heard your nightmares."

Sara whirled around and looked at Grissom. "What did I…" She didn't finish her statement but turned away again.

_I'm pushing her too much. This is too much. I don't want to hurt her. I just want to protect her. How do I get her to understand this?_

Grissom quickly got up and came over to Sara. He grabbed her and took her into his arms. She protested at first but then he could feel the tension leave her body. He stood there holding her without saying a word. He could feel the dampness from her tears on his shirt. Sara was tired. She just wanted to rest. Grissom seemed to sense this because he led her to the bedroom. He released the hand he had been holding long enough for him to pull the covers down. She lay down without protest. He sat on the edge of the bed and continued to hold her. Sara did not pull away this time but longed for the contact.

"Sara, when you are ready to talk about the case. I'll be here. If you would prefer to talk with someone else, I'll get them."

Sara nodded her head at the thought of talking with the others. "I don't think I can talk about this to anyone else. (sniffle) I didn't want the others to read the old case file and find out. I thought I could put the pieces together by myself without them knowing; without you knowing."

Grissom heard the sorrow and fear in Sara's voice. He wanted to take the pain away but didn't know how. This angered him. He didn't like seeing her this way. He wanted the case file to disappear but it couldn't. Sara may know something that might help them catch the serial but he feared it was locked away somewhere deep and he wasn't sure how they were going to be able to get to it without hurting Sara further. Sara had been the only person to survive.

Grissom's phone broke the silence. He looked at it and grimaced. It was Ecklie.

"Grissom"

"Grissom, word has it there's a witness you've located."

"I'm not sure where you got your information."

"I have a birdie in the police department. I want an update ASAP."

Grissom's stomach lurched. Sara was running out of time. He looked at Sara and she could tell that something was wrong.

"What's happened?"

Grissom held her hand and spoke softly. "I don't mean to push you Sara but I think Ecklie is close to finding out that you are a potential witness in the serial case. He is going to want you to be interviewed ASAP." Grissom could feel the tension rising in Sara's body again but she nodded as if she too knew that she had to get this over with.

She released Grissom's hand and wrapped her arms about her legs and began to talk. He could tell Sara was trying to go into work mode but it was difficult.

"Karen and I had been roommates for over a year. She was a photographer and I was working at a morgue. It was right after I had gone to your lecture. We had talked for hours about what the lecture meant to me. I knew then that it would be a matter of time before I came to Las Vegas in hopes of working with you. That night we had planned to go out but there was a storm and so we decided to stay in. Karen was going to turn in early. I remember working on the computer; my back was to the door. I had headphones on and was listening to your lecture that I had recorded. I first felt the presence… I thought it might be Karen so I didn't turn around at first but then I was grabbed from behind…" Sara stopped and her face was expressionless. She was reliving the moment in her mind. Grissom tried to touch her hand but she pulled away as if the touch was painful.

"I remember hitting the floor hard cause the wind was knocked out of me. I remember the tape and the rope. He then left and I could hear a muffled scream from Karen's room. I tried to untie myself but then he returned."

Sara gulped as if holding back a dam. She needed to get this out and it meant reliving it.

"He untied me and began…. I could feel his hands on my… He leaned down and whispered something in my ear. I tried to pull away but he held my arms down. I started to fight back and he got more aggressive. He liked it and he began tearing at my ….something inside of me told me not to fight so I stopped. He got angry and I remember he started to beat me. I still did not fight back. It was then that he tied me back up and he left the room. I could hear Karen in the next room. She was crying and screaming. I could hear Karen fighting back and he was laughing. I was able to get untied and ran over to the phone and dialed 911. I then ran back to help Karen but she was already dead. He had stabbed her. I locked the bedroom door and held her until the ambulance and police arrived."

Sara stared out into space. Grissom wondered what she was thinking. He once again reached for her hand and this time she let him take it.

"I should have fought back"

Grissom could not believe what she said. He pulled her around to face him. "Sara, you're alive because you didn't fight back. He would have raped you and then killed you if you had resisted. Your training taught you that. You knew he fed off of that. You couldn't save your friend but you saved yourself."

Sara did not reply. She could not release the guilt. He gave her a few moments and then asked the dreaded questions.

"Sara, what can you remember about his face?"

"He had a ski mask on. I could make out his eyes, the type of nose structure and his mouth. He…." She didn't finish. _I know there is something else but I can't put my finger on it. I can't seem to recall what I noticed that night when I was face to face with him. It's like I know….._

"What did he whisper in your ear?"

"I don't remember… I…" _I know what it was because it made my veins run cold but I can't remember. Why can't I remember?_

"Sara, did you understand what he said to you that night?"

Sara nodded her head yes. Grissom knew that Sara had some information locked inside and for some reason, she couldn't remember. _What is it? Did he really rape Sara and she blocked it from her memory? Did she see the perp and could actually identify the man?_

Sara lay down in the bed and curled up in a cocoon. She wanted it to all go away. She didn't want to talk about it anymore. It hurt too much. Grissom kissed her on the forehead and then walked out of the room.

He called Brass immediately. He discovered that one of the police officers had seen the report before Brass could remove it off his desk.

"Gil, how is Sara?"

"Not good. This isn't helping that Ecklie is going to want to know what new information we have. I need some time to help Sara sort this out."

"I'll do what I can."

Grissom put the phone away. He would have to tell the others. He wasn't sure how Sara would react to that. She was a very private person and didn't say much about her past.

_We are alike Sara. _

Grissom then placed another phone call before returning to the bedroom. He initially thought Sara had fallen to sleep but then he could see that she was staring at the wall.

He stood in the doorway and watched her for several minutes. He didn't want to leave her alone but he didn't want to intrude. Sara began to cough again. He reached for the glass of water on the stand and handed it to Sara.

"Medicine?"

Sara nodded in compliance so Grissom returned shortly with the medicine. He noticed that Sara had not bothered with even opening the bags which meant she had not taken anything.

"Sara, neglecting yourself will not help get you back to work."

"Well, it's not like you can take me off this case now. I seem to be tied to it no matter what anyone says." She realized her choice of words and it brought tears to her eyes. It made her mad and she swiped them away. She took the medicine and began to get out of bed.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm going back to the files. There something that I can't seem to put together. I need to.."

"Sara, sit down!" Grissom didn't mean to raise his voice but he was not about to let her back at the files. She reluctantly slumped back into the bed.

"Sara, I've called someone who may be able to help you remember."

Sara looked at Grissom. "A shrink? Great. I was wondering when you were going to play that card." Sara was getting mad.

"No Sara. A hypnotist." Sara's anger seemed to disappear. Grissom took the opportunity to tell her about the arrangements he had made.

"She's coming here?"

"Yes."

"Sara, with her help, you will be able to give more details than you can recall. If there is anything you have forgotten, she will be able to help you. We can then turn over the findings to Ecklie. Are you willing to do this?"

Sara was very willing. She knew there was something about that night that was bothering her and she wanted to remember.

The hypnotist arrived with Brass. He made some excuse to come and see Sara. He had always been closer to Sara than the others. He had felt the attraction between Sara and Grissom long before Grissom had confided in him. He had told Grissom he was a fool to turn Sara away. The two were made for one another. He didn't have any luck in convincing Grissom about this revelation. Grissom had his own share of skeletons in the closet.

Brass knocked on the bedroom door and hugged Sara. "I'm here if you need me." He didn't say anything else but quickly walked out of the room. He stood with his back to the Grissom and Ms. Harlow as he looked out the window. He hated to see Sara like this. He hated what they were about to do. He had seen his share of these things and he knew Sara would have to relive the event in her mind. Of course, she would be made to feel detached at the time but once the session was over, Sara would no doubt crumble.

Grissom and Ms. Harlow got the formalities out of the way and Ms. Harlow began to set up the equipment. She had been instructed to record the session for evidence. It took a while for Sara to feel comfortable enough to be hypnotized.

She began with the same details she had given Grissom.

"Karen and I had been roommates for over a year. She was a photographer and I was working at a morgue. It was right after I had gone to Grissom's lecture. We had talked for hours about what the lecture meant to me. I knew then that it would be a matter of time before I came to Las Vegas in hopes of working with Grissom. That night we had planned to go out but there was a storm and so we decided to stay in. Karen turned in early. I decided to work on the computer. I had headphones on and was listening to Grissom's lecture that I had recorded. I first felt the presence… I thought it might be Karen so I didn't turn around at first but then I could smell men's cologne. I recognized it. I started to turn around but was grabbed from behind. I was thrown to the floor hard cause for a moment I couldn't catch my breath. I didn't know what he was doing with the tape or rope. I don't know why he **is** here.

Grissom immediately noticed Sara had changed verb tense. He knew she was more than just observing it now. Grissom placed his hand on Ms. Harlow's arm. He whispered softly the questions he needed Sara to answer. "Who is with you Sara?"

"He had come by before. I wasn't expecting him that night. He never mentioned he would be coming by although he said he had something he wanted us to do. I thought it was just another…." She stopped and she became very agitated. He's untying the ropes now. My hands are free. I don't know why he's wearing that mask. Stop! Don't touch me like that. Why are you doing this?

"Sara, remove yourself from the room. You are not really there. This is not happening. You are only an observant now. Tell us who the person is?"

"He's holding me down and I can't get him off. He's leaning down now and whispering something in my ear." Sara's is now screaming.

Grissom motions for the woman to bring Sara out of it. She tries to get control of the situation but Sara is not listening. Sara is back in hell.

Grissom takes Sara by the shoulders and tries to calm her down but Sara is not there with him. She can feel the man's hands on her wrists, the weight of his body on hers. She can feel his breath upon her skin. She feels the panic and fear she has tried to overcome all these years. She is there again trapped praying that he will stop touching her. She doesn't want to stop resisting this time. She is begging him to end it. She is asking him to kill her and not Karen. She is begging for… Grissom.

"Please, stop this. Please don't do this. I trusted you! I gave you the key. Why did you have to kill Karen? Why didn't you kill me?"

Grissom began to rock Sara back and forth and whispered softly in her ear. She slowly began to calm down. "Sara, he can't hurt you any longer. I'm here." When Sara's cries became softer, Grissom asked the last question. "Sara, who was in the house that night?"

"Professor Robinson" Sara went limp in Grissom's arms. She had relived every hellish moment. She had known who had attacked her and killed Karen. She had not known it then because she could not bring herself to put the pieces together. She now knew how he had been able to get in without forcible entry. He had been there before and knew the layout of the house. Sara had given him a key one day when she found him on her doorstep. She had idolized the man. He had been there for moral support during her college years. Sara had always felt different than the others. Sara was different. She had entered college at a young age. Sara was beautiful and brilliant.

Grissom had heard of Professor Robinson but not through Sara. He had attended a lecture Grissom had given in Las Vegas. He seemed very curious about the type of work Grissom did. Sara must have mentioned him to Professor Robinson. Had he been jealous of Grissom? Did he strike to hurt Sara because he was afraid he was being replaced? The man was sick. He had killed one woman and managed to get away with murder but now he had killed three more. Grissom had Ms. Harlow to sit with Sara as he and Brass went into the other room.

"We need to pay Mr. Robinson a little visit. That bastard is not going to get away with this" said Brass as he headed for the door.

"Jim, I want to talk with him. We need to be able to link him to the other murders. I'm not sure Sara's testimony is going to be able to nail him on Karen Wright's case. It's been years. The jury is going to have a hard time believing Sara didn't actually know he was the attacker until now. If we can get him to confess or tie him to the three murders then it will be easier for Sara. Thanks to Sara we have a name. Let's hope we can prove it." Grissom rubbed his hands through his hair.

"Gil, she doesn't need to be alone. I'm going to put an officer outside this door. We don't know if the dear professor may try to get to Sara once word gets out we have a witness." Grissom told Brass about his encounter with Robinson.

"I think we are dealing with a sicko and he obviously may have it out for you or Sara."

Grissom didn't like the thought of that. Brass left with Ms. Harlow. Grissom knew he had to check in with the lab but he didn't want to leave Sara. He picked up his phone and called Warrick. He filled Warrick in what had transpired. Warrick was livid.

"If we had known about Sara's case we would have… How is Sara?"

"I don't know. She was given something to make her sleep. Warrick, I need you to meet with the others and start going through all of the evidence again. Brass will deliver the taped session with Sara. You will need to go through it…"

"Gil, how bad is it?"

"No mistakes Warrick. Sara ID the perp and we need to make sure we cross our T's and dot our I's on this one. Got it?"

"No problem, Grissom. Give Sara our love."

Grissom closed his eyes and sat on the couch. It had been a long day. He was worried about Sara. _I don't know how to help her. I don't know how to show her how much she means to me? _

Grissom found himself standing at the doorway again. She had been sleeping for hours. He looked down at Sara who had coughed in her sleep. There was a soft tap at the door. He opened the door to find Catherine standing there. She didn't say anything but gave Grissom a hug and walked in.

"I came to relieve you."

"I don't think I should leave just yet."

"Grissom, you have to."

Grissom looked puzzled.

"Professor Robinson is coming in on his own free will. He states that he and Sara were lovers and that she was scorned. He's trying to paint a picture of Sara as being imbalanced. He told Brass Sara tended to drink and he had gotten her out of several DUIs. He states Sara was obsessed with him. Grissom, he's good. He is going to be hard to trip up. I'm worried about Sara. We need to get her prepared for this."

"I can't leave."

"Yes. You can." Sara was standing in the bedroom doorway. "I'm fine. I want to be there when he's interrogated." Sara turned to get a shower and get dressed.

"She is not going."

"Grissom, perhaps it would be better if she were present. Perhaps if he sees her, he will screw up. So far Grissom we don't have anything to tie him to the other murders. We need to get a sample of his hair to compare it to the one Sara found at the other crime scene. Unfortunately, even if it matches, the jury may think Sara planted it."

Grissom had not been thinking that far out. He couldn't dwell on that now.

"Sara could also break under this pressure. I'm not going to risk it. She is under medical care and should not be anywhere nears the lab."

"Ecklie has requested her presence. He thinks we can get down to the bottom of this before the media gets a hold of it."

"Ecklie has never liked Sara. He would let…"

"Ecklie believes Sara. He heard the recorded session. We all heard it. God, Grissom. We have to get this guy or I don't think Sara will ever be able to put this behind her."

Grissom didn't like it. He tried to come up with another plan but he was tired. Within a few minutes Sara was standing in the room again. "Grissom, you have to leave."

Grissom looked at her and then at the door. He was upset and didn't like what he was about to do. He was about to leave Sara alone. He walked over to Sara and stood there but didn't touch her. He looked at her. She returned his gaze.

"I'm fine." Grissom turned and left. He passed Catherine without saying another word. Catherine thought that she saw hurt written on his face but she said nothing. She had always thought that he cared for Sara.

"Okay, are sure you're ready for this?"

Sara laughed and then sat down on the couch. "No, but I needed to get Grissom out of here. He doesn't need to be around me in the event I self destruct. I'm not going to give Professor Robinson any more ammo than he already has."

Catherine nodded in agreement and the two left for the lab. Sara began coughing as they entered the lab. She grabbed Catherine by the arm. Catherine looked around but the hallway was empty. She pulled Sara into her office. Sara sat down on the couch and began coughing again. Catherine gave her some water. Sara was sick. Her fever had returned. She was very weak but she knew she had to get through this.

"I think we need to postpone this." Catherine started for the door but Sara stopped her.

"I want to get this over. Okay?"

Sara could see that Professor Robinson and Brass were already in the interrogation room. Brass began with the general questions. Where was he on the night of the three murders? Why did he let himself into Sara's house that night? Why did he assault Sara and kill her room mate? The professor never blinked but remained silent. Grissom then entered the room. He sat down across from the professor. For a moment there was silence and then Grissom began.

"It's nice to see you again Professor."

"We've met?"

"Of course, you came to one of my lectures. I think you were interested in knowing about my line of work."

Professor Robinson smiled and said nothing.

"I think you came to the lecture to get a good look at the man who was replacing you. You found out that Sara wanted to come to Las Vegas to work with me. You also found out that she had feelings for me and there was the rub, wasn't it Professor. She had known you all those years but she sees me once and let's just say she's willing to leave you behind." Grissom could tell that there was a change in the professor's demeanor. His plan was working. Grissom continued.

"You've always been infatuated with Sara, haven't you? You groomed her. You mentored her while she was under your wing. You were waiting for the perfect moment to claim her for yourself but then she rejected you. Didn't she?"

The professor smiled and leaned back in his chair. "I can see that you are talking about yourself. I can see that it is you who is infatuated with Sara. Come now, Mr. Grissom its hard to resist her beauty and spirit. Of course it was her intelligence that I was attracted to. You don't see that much anymore, beauty and brains. Unfortunately she wasn't my type but she couldn't take no for an answer."

Grissom smiled and leaned forward. "You could never have her because you were never smart enough. She looked to you for guidance in her career but you would never be able to make her love you. You see, you knew she would eventually see the monster that you are. You wanted to control her and she would never let that happen. The only way you could do that was to break her but she still never turned to you. She turned to me."

Grissom got a rise out of the professor. His face became red and he clutched his fist on the table. "I could have had her any time. Sara was too trusting. She gave me a key to the house and never even noticed how I would go there sometime and read her diary. Her room mate was always a snoop. I convinced her not to say anything to Sara the few times she caught me there alone. I told her I was helping Sara with her thesis. She was too trusting also. Did Sara tell you about the night we spent together? Did she tell you about her birth mark just below her navel? Well? Of course she wouldn't and you wouldn't be able to see it unless you were intimate with her. Something that I am sure you're not."

Grissom again smiled. "I'm sorry to have to correct you but that is not a birth mark but rather a scar. You know the one that is shaped like an S. The one you placed on her the night you tried to rape her. I've seen it. I've touched it."

The professor was getting more upset. Grissom's plan had worked. The man was obsessed with Sara and he couldn't bear the thought of someone else with Sara. He tried to collect himself and he looked around. "So where is Sara these days? I am sure she would want to see me."

It was now Sara's turn. She entered the room and stood behind Grissom. "Honey, I told you he is nothing like you." Sara placed her hands on Grissom's shoulders. Grissom reached up and placed his hand over one of them. The professor was coming unglued.

"Sara; beautiful as ever. A little thin but I would know that body anywhere."

"Sad professor that you never had my body. You were never man enough but Grissom is."

"Why did you do it Professor? Why did you kill Karen? Why didn't you kill me first?" "Do you think I would ever let you touch me after I had confided in you that I had met someone? Someone that is better than you will ever be?" Sara's voice was even and cool. Grissom was proud of her stand.

"I wasn't through playing with you Sara. Your room mate was just a distraction. I couldn't seem to get under your skin. I figured if I killed her then you would be willing to show me that spirit that turns me on. You've always known that you belong to me. I made you what you are." The professor tried to touch Sara but Grissom smacked his hand away.

"uh uh uh. Don't touch my property, professor. Sara belongs to me."

The professor lost it. He began yelling at Sara to come to him. "I made you! You belong to me. I could never replace you! The other women could not match your spirit that's why I had to kill them. They were imperfect! I need you! You weren't supposed to get away that night. If I couldn't have you then no one could! Do you hear me Sara? Remember what I whispered in your ear?"

By this time the officers outside the door had grabbed the professor and were holding him. Grissom had shielded Sara with his body protectively. Brass ordered the professor booked on four counts of murder and one count of attempted murder.

Grissom looked at Sara. As they were taking the professor away, Sara answered his question. "I remember professor. You said that Grissom would never love me like you do."

"You're wrong there, professor. You don't know what love is but I do." Grissom held Sara as they led the professor out the door. He continued to yell Sara's name.

Grissom whispered in Sara's name "that's my girl. I knew you could do it." Sara then collapsed. The last thing Sara remembered was Brass yelling for an ambulance. She could feel Grissom holding her and pleading for her to open her eyes. She remembered the feel of raindrops on her cheeks. _That's funny. Why is it raining inside the lab? _

Sara was in intensive care for a couple of days. The pneumonia had spread to both of her lungs. Her lungs had begun to fill with fluid. Grissom remained at the hospital day and night. He set up a make shift office of sorts in the waiting area and ran the lab from there. When Sara was placed in a regular room the others came to visit.

The guys were being their old self. Sara was glad of that. She missed their picking and prodding. Nick tapped her on the foot and smiled "Tell me Sara is it true you squished a bug in front of Grissom?"

"Yep. He didn't cry though. It was a bit disappointing."

It was now Greg's turn. "Did you really say 'Bite me' to Grissom?"

Greg laughed as Grissom who made a face so Greg stifled the laugh. Warrick sat at the end of the bed. "You should be relieved that the case has now been closed and there won't be any reason for you to testify."

Sara looked puzzled. She glanced over at Grissom. For a moment she thought the worse. Professor Robinson was not going to be charged due to some technicality. Grissom spoke up quickly. "Robinson hung himself in his cell after he wrote a confession."

Sara did not say anything but tried to let it all sink in. Greg spoke up. "That hair sample you found out there in the last murder site belonged to Robinson. Even without the confession, we did link him to at least one of the murders."

Again Sara did not say anything. The others could sense the melancholy that had suddenly come over Sara. They decided to leave early. They said their goodbyes as Grissom remained.

"Sara, what's wrong?"

"I wished I had been able to identify the professor the night Karen was killed. Those women might still be alive. If I had chosen to fight back, perhaps Karen would have gotten away." Sara fidgeted with the covers.

Grissom became mad. He walked over and sat down beside Sara. He grabbed her by the arms so that she couldn't turn away. "Sara, it took your subconscious years to put the pieces together so that you were able to ID Robinson. Anyone else would have put this behind them and moved on. You wouldn't. If you had fought back, you would have been raped, tortured and probably murdered." Grissom's voice faltered. He had begun to cry. Sara pulled him close and whispered in his ear. "I'm sorry Grissom. I didn't mean to…"

_That's my Sara. _

Epilogue

Grissom and Sara had been walking for about an hour in the hot desert. It amazed Sara how many times they were called out here to a crime scene. Grissom had assured her he had checked the weather and there were no thunderstorms in the forecast. As they headed back Grissom looked over at Sara.

"I thought you would like a trip down memory lane. If we had not been caught in the rain we never would have spent that first night together."

Sara stopped to wipe the sweat from her brow. "That first night was a bit unimpressive Grissom."

Grissom gazed at her body and then smiled. "Well, we could make a new memory, right here. It seems we're already hot and sweaty."

Sara's mouth dropped open. She couldn't believe Grissom was asking her to… right here in the …

"Did you just ask…."

Grissom had already taken her into his arms. He kissed her lips, and then her neck. He started to move lower when a clap of thunder took them by surprise. They both looked at one another. A few raindrops began to fall and Sara…. Sara laughed. She couldn't stop laughing. Grissom's face was serious. He looked her straight in the eye and said "Bite me, Sara." Sara stopped laughing and did just that. She bit him.

She tore away from his embrace leaving him speechless. "You think we could get our old room? Race you to the car. First one gets the shower first."

Grissom smiled. He didn't intend to shower alone.


End file.
